we'll all be different people in the new year

One week from today marks my big move to downtown Indianapolis. I am still in the midst of packing and cleaning the old apartment. I have found a place in the Continental building two blocks north of the Circle on Meridian. When I first moved to Indy, I used to joke that I lived in that very building and was Director of PR for the Scottish Rite. I've come along way in the three years since I moved here. I am looking forward to the change of scenery and convenience to many downtown festivals and attractions. I am also hopeful for a fantastic new year with some great adventures, some of which are already in the works. More to come on all of this in my year wrap-up next week.

here comes oscar

I have been taking in some of this year's oscar favorites over the past couple weeks. Though not as blown away by last year's crop of hopefuls, I have seen some terrific performances and strong films.

Anne Hathaway and Rosemarie DeWitt were both breathtaking in Rachel Getting Married. While it seems Hathaway has received most of the plaudits, DeWitt really captures the tenuous strings that hold family together. She is thrilled to see her on-recess-from-rehab sister Kim (played by Hathway), but knows in seeing her she will be forced to face repressed family history. It's a very vulnerable, honest performace. The wedding in the film is one of the most spectacular and moving nuptials I can remember seeing on film.

I went into Slumdog Millionaire a few weeks ago thinking it was going to be a quiet, small indie film, but was shocked that it was actually a rather sweepingly loud movie. The movie captures the spirit of a nation in it's saga of one young man's fate. I was most pleased with the first half of the movie when the characters were still children. The kids were great and memorable. It felt a little bogged down later as the love story got a bit more intimate.

Milk is a very strong film anchored by breathtaking performances. Penn is almost unrecognizable in his transformation from his typical tough guy into a warm, touching slain gay leader. Emile Hirsch also turns in a great turn as Cleve Jones. Hirsch is truly an actor to watch, and he had great chemistry with his Into The Wild director Penn. The move is inspiring and hopeful.

These moves get added to the list along with The Dark Knight and Wall-E as some of my favorite movies of this year. Wall-E is currently my number 1 contender for best movie of the year.

Still excited to see: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Doubt, Frost/Nixon, Revolutionary Road, The Reader, The Wrestler, Nothing but the Truth, Wendy and Lucy, and Happy-Go-Lucky.

how did I not know this exisited...

i am sookie stackhouse

hable con ella

Rewatched Almodovar's 2002 breathtaking Talk to Here last night. I had forgotten just how outstanding every moment of this movie is. Below is a video of Ceatano Veloso's acoustic performance of Cucurrucucu Paloma from the movie.



Almodovar adds great moments in his films when people can connect through the emotions of music. Take this moment from Volver.

is it me?

How many people did I screw over in my previous life? I really must have done something quite wrong. There is no other way to explain my cursed string of dating. Let's break down the latest example.

Drama (as we call him, and not because he looks like Kevin Dillon) likes to make things unecessarily difficult. He prefers to text over actually speaking on the phone; there really is nothing like making a five minute conversation last 2 hours. He managed to keep our dating strictly on his terms, and damned if he didn't get pissy if I didn't meet those terms. He also seemed to be completely adverse to going on an actual date.

Now we only hung out a few times, and that was always me coming to his place and going to bed with him. And before you call me a slut, I kept it PG-13, you assholes. One time, I didnt want to come over so he sends shitty texts before saying "Bye." I assumed this meant that we were done talking to one another completely, and after he had cancelled on dinner with me to do nothing with a friend, I was fine with that (I even made him aware I would pay, you think he'd at least want a hot meal gratis). Then he texts me a few days later about what we should tell "our mutual friends" is going on between us. WTF!?! I didn't realize his dog and my friend Angela(who he did meet) were concerned on a Brangelina-level our relationship status. I informed him I was telling people we were no longer seeing one another, but remain close friends (I didnt really say that part... my publicist did). He was nonplussed, and said okay.

Maybe I could have been more accomadating to his preferences? Maybe I should try to be flexible with my own style of dating? Perhaps more empathetic to his feelings on dating? No, I really shouldn't. I typically blame myself for when things go south, but definitely not me this time.

not usually one for dreaming

Last night I had a rather vivid dream which is rare for me. Usually I experience a nonsenical mess of images that are quickly forgotten and don't leave me so shaken. For it to truly make sense, I suppose some backstory is in order.

I was in a relationship with a Guy for a good portion of time in college and it was serious. We broke up right before graduation and I didn't really try to get over it. Instead, I just blew right through the whole mess and went on with my life like none of it had really happened. I paid for that over the following couple of years because I never really felt a definite amount of closure (god, I hate that word) and we continued to be rather close friends. Then I collapsed in a bar and hit my head, was completely disoriented for around 15 minutes, and when I snapped out of it, I realized he was kind of an asshole and I was an idiot for not just removing him from life. So, I did just that.

And that's making a really long, turbulent story short. It's been about 5 months since I've seen or spoken to him, then the dream. I'm at some kind of pool party/water park with a bunch of the people Guy and I hung out with back in the day. He wasn't there and I was just talking to everyone and sharing stories. They finally decided to tell me he was at the party and he came out from somewhere (It kind of felt like the Jerry Springer show at that point. I was waiting for a crowd to start booing or something). All of our friends just started talking about our relationship and what had happened since the breakup, and why aren't we talking anymore? At one point, Guy accused me of having a relationship with my current boss, and I decide to go elsewhere because that's ludicrous. I ride some water slides and then run into some people who I used to hang out with in high school. I spend some time catching up with them, and it's hella awkward. I go back to join everyone else, and they are all gone. In their place is some kind of mystic and a fire surrounded by people. He is randomly shouting out people's fortunes. He calls out my name and Guy's, says we are 10 and 20 (??), and that Guy will die soon. I begin to freak out and try to find him to warn him of his pending doom. That's the dream.

students for concealed carry on campus: concealed crazy on campus?

This weekend while tooling around facebook, I stumbled upon a facebook group entitled Students for Concealed Carry on Campus. Boasting close to 30, 000 members, the group aims to make it legal for college students to carry concealed firearms around school campuses. Citing the rash of college shootings, a main driver for the group's fervent advocacy is a wish for the ability to defend themselves in such situations. Now, I too, am still apalled by school shootings from Columbine to VA Tech, but is increased firearm presence by untrained, party inclined, and stressed out students really going to do anything but cause more problems?

what happened to the filet and bottle of wine?

A friend of mine found herself on a date recently. They met at a quasi-fast food, alebit good, restaurant for dinner where they ate cafteria style. The main portion of the date was getting drunk at a party. Ah, the romance, right? Wasn't there a time when a date meant someone showing up at your door dressed to whisk you off to a evening of filet and a bottle of red at a chintzy new place? Not anymore, we've killed the date.

I don't think I have ever had that romantic first date, or even a romantic second, third or fortieth. Instead we are subject to awkward coversation, sub-par experience, and a complete lack of magic, or we forego all that and take it straight to the bedroom. It seems there was a time (and maybe this is just in movies) where someone put some thought into a date and created an experience worth remembering. Now, it's just figure out somewhere to eat or something to see, hope we get in, and then suffer until it's over. Somehow through all that maybe enough of a connection is established to create a relationship.

I like to be excited about a date. Excited to see where the conversation leads and what the other person is wearing. I like to wonder what it's going to be like when we say good night, and if there will be a kiss. Maybe a romantic, flirty walk around the canal before calling it a night because you aren't ready to say goodnight yet. I guess, I'm old fashioned, but I like to think I'm worth it. Worth an actual date.

bright lights, date city

It may surprise many of you to know that I am single. I know, I know, How can he be single? (I'm sure my ego has nothing to do with it). Trust me, it's the question du ano (make that like three anos, but who's keeping count really?). Now that we have that fun bit of Justin trivia cleared up, I'll get to my point.

When did dating become so complicated? I feel like there should be a clear procession of events that can either lead to a relationship or to dodging phone calls while trying to maintain a clear conscience. 2008 Indy is not that simple.

Conundrum of the year so far: How the hell do you know if it's a date or if it's the dreaded "just friends" or just a meal ticket? I feel like at one point we used to announce our intentions. Like he'd say "Wanna come up?" and you knew there were a whole host of things that could go up. Recently I went out with someone who I am quite attracted to, and yet have no idea what side of the line we fall. We had a lingery car moment though. He didn't just hop out and say, "Peace." There was some idle chatter, an awkward hug, and me with a puzzled expression. Now, I'm always a respectable gentleman (unless drunk) and would never invite myself up (unless really drunk), but, damn, what do I have to do?

In an omnipresent landscape of digital connections and mobile chatting, we have completely lost the capability for face to face dating and flirting. We now have screennames to hide behind and the ambiguity of written dialogue. It's no wonder that we don't know how to read someone's intentions because there is no winkey face emoticon to follow whatever they are saying. Text messaging as even replaced calling someone. It's much easier to text someone out for dinner because then you can't hear them scramble for a reason to pass on you.

There is truly no way to get past this interplay of mixed messages without taking a dive into more frightening waters. We have to be able to accept rejection and embarassing moments for something to finally happen. Shit, get drunk even. Lord knows I've done some stupid things when schwasted, but some of those have been hella fun. It's not the other person we have to be afraid of, but the perfectly pixellated image of ourselves.

spring cleaning

Spring cleaning has commenced around # 234 with satisfying results! It's great to see the dirt and buildup that's collected all winter disappear with each scrub of the soapy sponge. I've only just completed my bathroom and already the metaphors are materializing. So far this year has felt like a chance to clean-up a lot of my past messes, and to make some new progress in my life. I've drastically distanced (read: offloaded) myself from someone who I've felt was holding me back for the past couple years, and the freedom has felt staggeringly refreshing. I've reconnected with some people and strengthened ties with the ones who've been important to me in Indy. I've definitely stepped up my game at work . 2008 has been successful.

i heart ellen

indy's special election

After the death of Rep. Julia Carson a few months ago, Indy has officially replaced her with Tuesday's special election. Andre Carson, grandson of the deceased, has officially taken her place as Congressman of Indiana's 7Th district.

Carson narrowly defeated Republican John Elrod (to the left! to the left!). After noting that Elrod was an attractive candidate, Angela made note of speculation surrounding his sexuality. And like any concerned, and single, constituent I looked for more information. There is quite a bit of question regarding the single State Representative. He is rather favorable to gay rights and marriage which causes considerable contention with the rest of his party. I wonder do we just think he's gay because he's good looking and single?

a brilliant mind

So, Representative Sally Kern of Oklahoma (do I really need to add party affiliation?) said some things when she thought no media was present. Victory Fund, a group helping finance gay and lesbian political candidates, made a video featuring who I suppose are constituents displaying various reactions while her voice plays in the background. I won't really go into what was said, but will let you listen for yourself. Is it just me or does she kind of look like a Rachel Dratch sketch?

Kern vows not to apologize for her statement, which I agree she shouldn't necessarily have to as she does have a right to say what she did. It's notable to wonder though had Rep. Kern actually knew she were being recorded, would she have said what she did?

whats news

So the Oscar announcements last week weren't as predictable as I would have thought. Marion Cotilliard was a vision on the Oscar stage when giving a sweet, touching speech. Tilda Swinton was the other surprise but truly deserved the award for her work in a great movie. Both Bardem and Day-Lewis had to know they were a lock for their trophys but both were still very humble and gave wonderful acceptance speeches.

"I need some discipline tonight." Janet's new album dropped this past week at the number 1 spot and it's pretty dirty. But, hey, that's how I like it. Highlights include the title track, The 1, Rock with U, LUV, and Rollercoaster. Also the very urban and sexy new video from Janet made it's debut this week.


Mariah took a sexy single and made an idiotic video, but whats new. (Hey! Thats almost the title of this post.)


Apparently, there are some men with questionable sexualities on American Idol this season. MSNBC ponders whether we can have a gay entertainer, and basically make it clear they know nothing about Hollywood and the entertainment industry. (link) Apparently, one of the guys (to the left! to the left) has a past as a stripper (The Scandal!) If only this would somehow result in the show being removed from the air. But then I'm sure Flava of Love, The Bachelor, The Real World, and well most any reality televison show we cant live without would be as well. Damn.

whats news

America is currently atwitter over the beef recall and the video that spurred it all. I was completely disgusted by the video, and yet not completely surprised by what I saw. I hope this prompts more consumers to take an interest in what they consume and demand stricter regulations on what makes its way to the supermarket and schools.

Lindsay Lohan feels like we havent seen enough of her girly bits flashed around the red carpet already, so we have to see her mocking a screen legend. I'm underwhelmed.

It looks like Hoosier conservatives will have to wait a few more years before they can attempt another ammendment (and you can bet they are starting the countdown clocks) to the consitution that would ban gay marriage (link). Also wonderful is the strong showing of protestors of the ammendment (link).

"Drop your socks and grab your mini-boombox." Kylie Minogue's latest album, X, is probably going to be the only thing playing on my ipod the next week or so. It's one hot dance album.

I am completely tired of IU basketball coaches (link). I am beginning to long for the days when no player was safe from projectile chairs and the General ran the court. (That link just put espn in my browser history, and will probably take a mere 24 hours before it realizes it just doesnt fit in.)

And for everyone who I'm sure was beginning to worry, I did complete my ensembo for the Sheraton employee party. Red carpet pundits can rest easy and make some room on the best dressed list.

stop pressurin' me

Given that Thriller has officially hit the 25 year mark (ugh, I guess I gotta do that this year as well), I have been revisiting some of the best of Mr. Jackson. Since I was really a youngin' during the early years of Thriller I didnt really begin to experience it until the 90's and on. It truly is everything a pop album should be and there is no escaping its effect on music. It is however a different Michael altogether that hooked me when I was a kid, and that was his duet with Janet "Scream." I don't know what it is about this song, and its stellar, big budget music video, that completely hooked me.

i drink your milkshake

I gotta say there were some great movies in 2007, so without further ado I guess I should roll out one of those unholy lists. I dont in anyway think this is complete yet as there I still some key movies from last year I intend to see; however it's a damn good place to start.

Intense as hell, I saw this one with the parents (I had almost forgotten how much my mom talks to the characters during movies, other viewers probably won't forget either) and was overwhelmed by the raw emotion and power of the characters. Tommy Lee Jones has never been better.

Maybe it was the fact this was one of the first books I had to read for college or maybe it's just because the movie is so damn good, but this one moved me like no other. Emile Hirsch captures everything about McCandless, and Hal Holbrook gives one of my favorite performaces of 2007: utterly heartbreaking.

Probably had one of the best ever tracking shots (right up there with the one from Children of Men) when Wright sits the viewer down into the beach at Dunkirk. Knightley and McAvoy were the sexiest thing last year, and I will never hear the sound of a typewriter quite the same way again.

Daniel Day Lewis creates a character that I am pretty sure can not be left off any list naming the best ever movie characters. And if by some oversight Daniel Plainview is snubbed, be sure there are no bowling pins in sight. PT Anderson (one of my all time fave directors) departs from the style and feel of his previous films to direct the most pulse pounding portrayals of American ambition ever.

I'm not a foodie, I don't particularly love rats, and I've never been to Paris, but did I love this movie. The stunning visuals and brilliant writing had already won me over, but then I heard Peter O'Toole and it was love. His voice gives me chills and reminds me of the power a movie can have over someone.

Everyone raves about Ellen Page in this movie, and I do think her's is one of the best female performaces of last year, but I really loved the supporting roles much more. Jennifer Garner moved me to tears on more than one occasion and I too felt an attraction to Jason Bateman before feeling uttely betrayed. Plus Allison Janney was in it and was feisty, so I had to love that.

It's a long one and you never really find out "who did it," but it's very entertaining to watch three great actors embody doggedness as characters obsessed with discovering the identity of a serial killer. Up with No Country in terms of nailbitting suspense and intensity.

Ryan Gosling proves he is still worthy of his oscar nominated performace from Half Nelson with this sweet, touching comedy. Gosling makes us all feel lonely and completely awkward in this movie. With a great supporting turn by Emily Mortimer, and one of my favorite movie lines from 2007 ("Why are you yelling?"), Lars is a winner.



Honorable Mentions include Enchanted, Knocked Up, Eastern Promises, The Jane Austen Book Club and Hairspray.

Still dying to see Margot at the Wedding, The Savages, Gone Baby Gone, The Darjeeling Limited, Michael Clayton, Persepolis, Before the Devil Knows you're Dead, and The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

sunday afternoon on the island of la grande jette. georges seurat, 1884-1886. oil on canvas

So, I think people know that I am not one for New Year's resolutions. I mean if it ain't broke, don't fix it right? And it is almost February so I would be a little behind to make one at this point. To keep myself from being tardy, I won't make a resolution. I will instead add a new facet to my lifestyle to improve upon this 12 month cycle. I want to reconnect with many of my old friends from high school and college. I find it amazing the length of time that has passed since the last time I've had contact with people who I used to speak to on a daily basis. (And yeah, I know I've really just made a New Year's resolution...assholes)
How do people drift in and out of our lives so easily? What factors determine whether you will ever talk to a close friend again? It's fascinating to me. I have some friends who I know will always be a part of my life now whether I like it or not. Yet there are people I felt extremely close to who I haven't seen or even spoken to in years. I miss the connections and experiences I had with some of these people. I find I blame myself for the, shall I say "falling out." I didn't call enough, I didn't try enough, or something (Just a note: my mother is the exact opposite and is never at fault when friendships strain, maybe she isn't as Jew-ish as I am).
Regardless I will make an attempt to regain some contact with many of my old friends. You've been warned.

last judgement of hu-nefer, from his tomb at thebes, egypt, dynasty xix, ca. 1290-1280 bce. painted papyrus scroll

The Egyptians viewed death not as an ending, but another stage for the ka, or life force, to continue on. What's to say that we can't all find our own means of preserving our ka for immortality? The contributions we make in our lifetimes define the legacy we leave behind. We are guaranteed to make mistakes, to lose track, to fail, but if we dont, we have not really tried. And we must try. With more fervor than will be expected of us. We will not be remembered for our complacency, but for our eagerness to overcome our human failings in an attempt to make, for even a second, a contribution that rectifies the oxygen used during our short lifetimes. Thank you Heath Ledger.

I watched one of my favorite episodes of the West Wing Season Three tonight. I was moved to watch it because it's the one where CJ Cregg is pondering the motives behind the song "I'm too Sexy"by Right Said Fred. (CJ: "So it's not a problem? It's not a song about somebody having a problem?" Carol: "No, he's feeling good. That's why he's singing.") "Gone Quiet" is the episode when Bruno Gianelli admonishes Democrats for being unwilling to play the same game as the other guys. He says,

We will all need some therapy because somebody came along and said liberal means soft on crime, soft on drugs, soft on Communism, soft on defense. And we're going to tax you back to the stone age because people shouldn't have to work if they dont want to. And instead of saying, 'Well, excuse me, you right-wing reactionary, xenophobic, homophobic, anti-education, anti-choice, pro-gun Leave it to Beaver trip back to the '50s.' We cowered in the corner and said, 'Please don't hurt me.'

I dont believe I have ever heard a better challenge to Democrats. One of the show's best moments.

And if you're still not sure which one of those kooky Presidential hopefuls to vote for, then check out this link: Glassbooth
It's interesting to note that if you answer the questions liberally, but then choose conservative answers on global warming and gay marriage, you should be voting for a republican. I dont know that the quiz handles moderates too well. I do have to give credit since it points out key issues and where candidates fall within those issues. I did line up the strongest with Mike Gravel, but I dont count him since he's probably going to be dropping out soon, and am pleased that I line up with John Edwards as my second choice. Edwards is of course my first choice.

One last thing, check out Radiohead's In Rainbows because it is probably one of the most gorgeous albums I have heard in years. I leave you with some of the lyrics to my current favorite song on the album, "Videotape."

When I'm at the pearly gates
This will be on my videotape
When Mephistopheles is just beneath
And he's reaching up to grab me
This is one for the good days
And I have it all here in
In red blue green
You are my center when I spin away
Out of control on videotape
This is my way of saying goodbye
Because I cant do it face to face
So I'm talking to you before it's too late
No matter what happens now
I shouldnt be afraid
Because I know today has been the most perfect day I've ever seen

flashing lights

Please excuse my recent absence. I was experiencing a lack of Internet at home and a lack of time elsewhere. At this point I seem to be back on track, that is unless the noise emanating from the 'puter are really as ominous as I fear. Let's get on with it then.

I paid a little more attention while I was grocery shopping the other night and happened to run across a bottle of chocolate milk from Traderspoint Creamery of Zionsville, IN. Traderspoint is a certified organic farm that was listed at www.eatwild.com which I reported on last time when discussing The Omnivore's Dilemma. I really enjoyed it and was surprised by how flavorful it is. The chocolate flavor was very rich and creamy much more so than any other chocolate milk I have tried before. So I may pick that one up more often.

The latest issue of Details magazine (yes the one with Zac Efron on it) featured some good reading. Probably the most interesting thing Details features monthly is their "Know + Tell" section which always features various statistics, new slang, interesting quotes, etc. that can be downright shocking and pointed. For instance according to an internal memo at Comcast (the cable and Internet provider), it costs $1000 for the US government to set up surveillance on one of their customer's personal email. It is then a $750 a month for continued access. I don't know which facet of this is so disgusting: that a company makes a profit off of practice which is a complete violation of privacy or that the ungodly amount of my paycheck I don't get is being used to fund it. I really haven't seen much data regarding where the current Presidential hopefuls stand on the Patriot Act and so on, however I think citizens' right to privacy is something worth discussing.

Another section that keeps me buying Details every month is "10 Rules of Style." Every month they ask a designer to list some of his/her dictates of style, and this month it was A.P.C designer Jean Touitou. He stated, "If you can tell a man's sexuality by the way he dresses-like a 'gay' uniform or a 'macho' uniform-that's disgusting." I certainly agree. I am so tired of seeing clothes that are clearly geared to gays being worn in full force to bars (and I will admit I may have committed this sin in my younger days). One of the joys of fashion is the way it compliments the wearer not the way it announces how they like it. Plus, I'm all about the mystery...it's so much sexier.

required reading for anyone who eats

My parents wisely obeyed my Christmas demands this year, well a couple of them anyway, and I was greeted with the book cover you see to the left. This book should really be read by anyone who cares about what they consume. Pollan carefully traces the origins of four meals from their most basic element to how major components of the meal are processed and sold to what the final product looks and tastes like.
Michael Pollan challenges our notions of consumption and thereby challenges us to be more aware of what it is we are consuming. Most of us stop into the supermarket or restaurant assuming we are getting at least decent quality products, but are in fact getting the end of a less than appetizing industrial food chain prodded on by government subsidies and the idea that consumers want it now and want it cheap. Pollan states,

“To go from the chicken (Gallus gallus) to the Chicken McNugget is to leave the world in a journey of forgetting that could hardly be more costly, not only in terms of the animal’s pain but in our pleasure, too. But forgetting, or not knowing, is what the industrial food chain is all about, the principal reason it is so opaque, for if we see what lies on the far side of the increasingly high walls of our industrial agriculture, we would surely change the way we eat” (10-11).

Pollan does present rising alternatives to the pervasive industrial food chain. Most interesting are “postindustrial” farms that aim to return animals to living and eating the way they were intended, most notably on grass pastures (Most animals in industrial systems are fed corn which is contrary to all of their natural eating habits and kept in overpopulated corrals or cages). These farms also adhere to a policy of produce locally and sell locally. This is food at its purest -something I’m not entirely sure my generation has really experienced. For local farms like this in your area, you can visit http://www.eatwild.com/.
My brief blurb in no way does justice to what has been one of the most illuminating books I have read in some years. For something that is so central to our health and culture, not to mention our enjoyment, we have little idea of what is really on our plates.

ringing the opening bell

Not that I am expecting a blur of excitement in this New Year, but I feel hopeful that 2008 will be exponentially better than its prior. I don't mean to knock 2007 either because it did have its moments after all -they were just few and far between.

This year does mark me getting off my ass and doing what I should have done two years ago. I am finally working towards grad school by taking Art History classes at IUPUI. Most of my posts will be marked by various works of art through all periods of time. Like Geogia O'Keefe's Radiator Building -Night, New York pictured at right.

I figured having my own blog might make it possible to keep track of what is happening in 2008, in my life and in the news.